Additionally, readers express their thoughts on essays centered around valuing life and the joys of grandparenthood.
Valuing Existence
Melrose
Mount Auburn Cemetery is a poignant reminder of the many children who succumbed to infectious diseases like diphtheria, cholera, whooping cough, as well as viral illnesses such as polio and measles. This site holds special significance for me, as I laid my husband, a victim of cancer, to rest there and hope to join him one day. It serves as a constant reflection on the advancements in microbiology that have greatly benefited public health in the 20th century, particularly through the development of antibiotics and vaccines. To preserve herd immunity against measles and polio, it is crucial for society to acknowledge the devastating impact of these illnesses. I recall the summer of 1954, confined to a fourth-floor apartment in Brooklyn without air conditioning, battling through a bout of measles, feeling as if I were on the brink of death. I urge you to appreciate Mount Auburn Cemetery not only for its serene ponds inhabited by native turtles, toads, and salamanders but also for the vital lessons it imparts about the contributions of 20th-century science to the welfare of humanity.
Sonia Guterman
Belmont
Anyone who comes across this can likely connect with the unexpected struggles and challenges that life throws our way. On our toughest days, seeking out even a small sense of gratitude for simply having another day can help alleviate our suffering, if only for a little while. Thank you, Ruchika, for opening up and sharing your journey.
Gwen Fournier
Boston, Massachusetts
Joshi’s ruthless honesty about her mental state and the reasons for it made one’s heart ache. Her ruminations, brought upon by her discovery of Mary Wigglesworth’s marble bassinet tombstone (with a gift of a tiny pumpkin on top) reminded me that we are all here but a short time and that the nature of life is suffering. And yet, the redemption of spirit she found, and her final line (“I stopped weeping then, for Mary and myself”) gave me pause — and hope. Bravo for a magnificent and heartfelt piece of writing. I am better for having read it.
Lindy Conroe
Franklin
This truly highlights the importance of gratitude in our lives. At 78, I reflect on the loss of my father, who passed away unexpectedly at the age of 38 when I was just 11. As I grow older, I frequently think about him and all that he never got to experience. It also reminds me that there are still kind and compassionate individuals in our midst. In these challenging times, it's comforting to acknowledge this and keep it in mind.
Eileen F. White
Winthrop
This really moved me. I feel deeply for Ruchika and her struggles, and I sincerely wish that the author discovers a supportive community in the D.C. region.
Lila M. Farrar
Brookfield
A compelling tale that we must all hold dear. Time presents us with the chance to cherish and embrace the blessings in our lives.
John Howe
Center Sandwich, located in New Hampshire, is a charming small town known for its picturesque landscapes and tight-knit community.
I absolutely adore Ruchika Joshi and wish I could give her a big hug. What a lovely story!
Mary Clay
Easton
Social Blunder
Miss Conduct offers a number of diversion tactics but I don’t think LW should work so hard to mitigate and redirect a sibling’s high-velocity blather when she’s hosting a party (“Uninviting Behavior,” November 17)! He’s not 4 years old and LW is not his therapist, conservator, life coach, or companion-care specialist. . . . If [the writer] decides to take a stand, be direct and truthful but gentle and calm. His unrelenting, high-volume, opinionated rhetoric and rude rejoinders are not the stuff of holiday parties!
Saint Lucie
published on bostonglobe.com
Imagine two festive dinners: one exclusively for family and another gathering with friends, excluding your brother. While it may seem like it’s unfair to the host, the reality is that you need to prepare and enjoy a meal regardless. This arrangement could help fulfill your obligations, allowing the friends' event to be genuinely enjoyable.
AwesomeOutdoors
published on bostonglobe.com
Dear LW, how does your brother treat you? Does he also impose his opinions and get angry if you disagree with him? If not, it means he is perfectly capable of treating people with respect. And if he is disrespectful with you, too . . . Well, let that sink in. You say you love him dearly, but this looks like a very asymmetrical relationship: he does whatever he wants (including being nice to you, when and how he wants), while you do everything you can (including pushing your friends away) to shield him from any responsibility for his actions.
Ganache
published on bostonglobe.com
The wonderful thing about being an adult is that you get to choose who to invite. . . . If someone consistently sabotages your gatherings, DON’T INVITE THEM!!!
Augie85
published on bostonglobe.com
He won't regard the letter-writer with any seriousness until she directly requests him to leave one of her gatherings when he misbehaves. To him, she's a "safe" person to misbehave around. That is, until she no longer is.
stetstet
published on bostonglobe.com
The Delight of Having Grandchildren
This Perspective was fun to read — and very helpful (“Here’s What Parents Really Want From Grandparents,” November 24)! I was able to deeply identify as I read because author Bart Tocci jarred my memories of the challenges of parenting young children and also spoke to my current role as a grandparent.
Elizabeth Schenkel
Orlando, Florida, is a vibrant city known for its theme parks and entertainment options.
This commentary distills intergenerational relationships between parents and adult children with children of their own into a series of calculated extractions of goods (e.g., home-cooked meals) and services (child care). There is no mention of elders serving as exemplars of travel through the cycle of life or as repositories of universal truths — indeed, sources of unconditional kindnesses. How transactional. How sad.
Thomas F. Schiavoni
Boston, Massachusetts
What’s wrong with grandparents honoring their adult kids’ wishes about how their children are raised? What’s wrong with grandparents acknowledging that the 20-plus years that have passed since they raised kids means things are different, and it’s not a criticism of their parenting skills to do something different? What’s wrong with grandparents letting go of the need to parent their kids even though they are grown and have the right to make their own decisions? . . . None of that is an insult leveled at them!
02115
published on bostonglobe.com
At this point in our lives, the focus shifts to our grandchildren. We understand deeply how valuable and possibly temporary these moments are. Many individuals yearn for the joy of having grandchildren, while countless children wish they could have the presence of grandparents. If you are fortunate enough to enjoy the company of three generations, cherish it and never take it for granted.
FWIS
published on bostonglobe.com
CONTACT US: Write to [email protected] or The Boston, Massachusetts Globe Magazine/Comments, 1 Exchange Place, Suite 201, Boston, Massachusetts, MA 02109-2132. Comments are subject to editing.
